How To Make Friends With A New Cat on PNN

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How To Make Friends With A New Cat

Posted by Karen & Gerard Posted on: 05/26/08

How To Make Friends With A New Cat

Following is an email I received from Wendy, a friend of mine who is President of Kitten Krazy. Too bad I didn't hear from her sooner. I tried modifying my bahavior as she advises and he did not growl at me and only hissed once when I approached to open his window.

Well, I have good mews and bad mews after watching your video (on this page upper left corner). The bad mews is that Manny is certainly a long-term case. He is visibly uncomfortable and will need more time than normal cats to adjust - if ever. The good mews is that I can point out some things that you are doing, Karen, that may change the situation.

In order to speak Manny's language, you will need to change two things:

I noticed some of your behaviors while interacting with Manny were exemplary of an "alpha kitty." What I mean is:

1. You were looking him straight in the eyes. Direct eye contact is a form of dominance - he was directly responding to you in a negative way when you looked at him straight on. What I do is turn my head to the side and periodically glance at them. Keep your eyes 1/2 shut (this is cat language for "I'm not going to hurt you" and actually more "I really like you"). If you close your eyes slowly and only 1/2 open them, it is a sign of content.

2. Don't stand up when interacting with him - he really became angry because to him, you got even bigger. When cats fight, they puff up their hair and turn sideways to get bigger. Essentially, that's what you did with him.

3. If you listen to the tape and hear the tone in his voice, you will hear the same tone in your voice when you were talking back to him. Since he was growling at you - basically, he heard you growling back at him. The best thing to do is use a normal voice or better yet, no voice. A high pitch and a low pitch in our voices indicate a threat or a growl. Your volume should be calm and your pitch as normal as possible.

4. Being in the same room working, reading or whatever and simply ignoring him would be the most calming thing you can do for now until he realizes that you aren't "looking for a fight."

He is definitely on the defensive and really needs to understand that you folks are not going to hurt him.

Here are a few more suggestions:

1. Buy a couple of cans of cat food. The best way to make friends is through their stomach. Put it in a bowl and just sit there without speaking or looking at him, but close enough that you are "sharing" the environment.

2. I know it sounds crazy, but you can play classical music on a low volume throughout the day when you are not home.

3. They have cat videos that he can watch that will stimulate him emotionally. Birds fly and chirp, chipmunks run and play, etc. Cats really do watch these videos and it will give his mind something to do that is positive and makes his environment seem more fun.

The Feliway is an excellent idea, too. You guys are such wonderful people to work with this guy - most people wouldn't even try.

God bless you and let me know if there is anything I can do to help or if these suggestions helped.

Love,

Wendy

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